Sometimes I look at my social media feed and wonder when exactly I became an unpaid U.S. political analyst, commentator or whatever. I live thousands of kilometers away, my taxes don’t go there, I don’t vote there, and yet every day I’m force-fed a steady diet of American political drama like it’s my emotional multivitamin.
I open TikTok: screaming match between a congressman and a journalist. What on earth is a congressman?
Open Twitter: a senator posting something deranged for engagement.
On YouTube: five thumbnails of people shouting about the Supreme Court.
I open Instagram: memes about Donald Trump blinking too slowly.
Facebook: someone’s aunt debating the constitution with an MLM seller.
It’s fucking relentless.
It’s as if the U.S installed a satellite dish in everyone’s brain and forgot to give us a bloody remote.
And the wild part is we never choose this. We didn’t apply. The algorithm just drafted us. One day you’re scrolling for cute dogs and recipes, the next you’re arguing with a stranger in Nebraska about healthcare policy like you’re running for office.
The whole world has become collateral damage in America’s never-ending identity crisis.
People in Europe are debating U.S. gun laws while dodging strikes of their own. Meanwhile US in Africa are discussing the electoral college even though some of us don’t even have working traffic lights. People in Asia are analyzing Trump’s indictments like they’re studying for exams or something.
The United States isn’t a country anymore, it’s a fucking global content genre.
And the algorithm fucking loves it.
Because nothing brings engagement like American chaos. Not climate change, not even war, poverty or coups. Nope. The most addictive substance online is an American politician embarrassing themselves in HD.
Even if you mute it, it finds you. Clips, reactions, duets, breakdowns, breakdowns of breakdowns, podcasts analyzing podcasts about commentary on commentary about debates. It’s a snake eating its own tail while livestreaming the whole thing.
And the rest of us? Just extras. Witnesses. Hostages scrolling against our will.
I sometimes imagine what aliens would think if they intercepted Earth’s data stream. They’d assume America is the only functioning country and that everyone else exists purely to observe it like some twisted cosmic Truman Show.
But here’s the truth: the world is tired. Not anti-American, just fucking exhausted. Exhausted from caring about U.S. political drama because the algorithm thinks it’s global oxygen. Exhausted from carrying emotional reactions to scandals that don’t affect our lives. Exhausted from knowing the full names of senators who don’t know our countries exist.
We deserve a break. We deserve feeds that reflect our realities. We deserve to scroll through the internet without being turned into unwilling commentators on a political system we have zero influence over.
But until social media grows a conscience (spoiler: it won’t), the circus continues. And we all stay stuck in the audience, watching a show we didn’t buy tickets for, but can’t stop seeing because the ringmaster hacked the lights.
America may be the world’s biggest exporter, but its number one export isn’t films or tech or culture.
It’s fucking political content.
And apparently, none of us are allowed to unsubscribe.
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Zealous Thierry 
Thank you
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You’re welcome ☺️
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