Donald Trump has never been shy about rewriting his own story. On September 6, 2025, The Telegraph reported that Mike Johnson, the Republican Speaker of the House, went on CNN and said Trump had been an FBI informant on Jeffrey Epstein. He said it like it was fact. Neither hesitation nor proof either.
The idea that Trump was undercover against Epstein sounds wild. It is also very familiar. Zimbabwe has seen this movie before.
In 2023 Uebert Angel, Ambassador at Large and preacher, claimed he too was a secret agent. When Al Jazeera filmed him offering to launder dirty money, he said it was all an act. He was serving national intelligence.
Trump and Angel are men caught in scandal who suddenly turned into spies in their own stories.
Trump first. Jeffery Epstein’s shadow has been hanging over him for decades. Epstein was charged in 2006 for sex crimes. In 2008 he got a light sentence after a deal with prosecutors. In July 2019 he was arrested again. He died in jail in August 2019, found hanging in his cell.
Many Americans thought he was murdered. Trump himself suggested that.
What never went away were the photos. One from 2000 shows Trump with Epstein at Mar-a-Lago, smiling. Trump admitted he knew Epstein. He later claimed he cut ties because Epstein poached staff. It sounded like a weak excuse even then.
By 2023 things heated up. Attorney General Pam Bondi reportedly told Trump his name appeared in Epstein files. The Wall Street Journal reported that. Bondi hinted at a client list. In February 2025 she even said one was sitting on her desk.
By July the Department of Justice said it found no such list. Yet rumors spread. Epstein’s links to Trump would not disappear. Trump tried to brush it off as a hoax. He told Tucker Carlson in 2023 that Epstein could have been killed. He told Maga rallies in 2025 that Democrats were pushing a fake scandal.
Then came Johnson’s CNN line. Trump was not guilty, Johnson said. He was horrified by Epstein. He even helped the FBI.
Overnight, Trump the friend of Epstein became Trump the informant.
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That pivot is familiar to Zimbabweans.
In March 2023 Al Jazeera’s Investigative Unit aired Gold Mafia. Four episodes that made the country hold its breath. They showed how gold worth billions was leaving the country. They showed how dirty cash was washed clean through Dubai. They showed pastors, businessmen, and political allies talking freely about fixing deals.
One of the stars was Uebert Angel. He called himself a prophet. He preaches in mega churches. Al Jazeera said he has luxury cars and private jets.
In 2021, Zimbabwe’s president E. D. Mnangagwa had appointed him Ambassador at Large to Europe and the Americas. It gave him status and protection.
In the Al Jazeera videos, Angel offered undercover reporters a way to launder up to $1.2 billion. He bragged about his access to the president. He put calls on loudspeaker that seemed to connect to First Lady Auxillia Mnangagwa and to Henrietta Rushwaya, head of the Zimbabwe Miners Federation. For viewers, it was shocking. For the state, it was embarrassing.
Then came the spin. On April 15, 2023, after the final episode aired, Angel’s lawyer, Prof Lovemore Madhuku addressed reporters in Harare. He of course said Angel was innocent. That what Zimbabwe had seen was a classified intelligence operation. Angel, he claimed, had told intelligence services about the investors. Intelligence told him to play along. They wanted to see how far these men would go.
The calls to the First Lady? Fake.
Rushwaya? Also fake. All decoys.
It was theater, Madhuku said, staged for national security. His client could not reveal that before, but the scandal forced him to explain. The Reserve Bank to froze Angel’s assets. Papers like Pindula and NewZimbabwe carried the story. Reports said charges could follow. Still, Angel held to his line. He was no smuggler.
He was a secret agent after all.
To understand why these defenses sound absurd, you have to understand the men. Trump has built his image on being the smartest man in the room. He insists he knows secrets nobody else knows. He says he won elections that he lost. He says he can fix wars in a day. For his followers, the bigger the claim, the more they clap.
Angel on he other hand, has built his empire on prophecy. He says he can predict outcomes. He says he speaks with God. He sells miracles. For his followers, the more outrageous the promise, the more they believe. Both men thrive on myth. Both turn scandal into theater. Both lean on faith from their crowds, not facts.
When Epstein died in August 2019, The New York Times reported that he had attempted suicide three weeks earlier. Guards failed to check on him for hours. Cameras malfunctioned. It looked suspicious. Conspiracies flourished. Trump retweeted posts blaming Bill Clinton. By keeping Epstein’s death in the zone of mystery, Trump kept attention away from his own friendship with Epstein. Every rumor that Epstein was murdered gave Trump a shield. He could say the real story was hidden. He could say the media was lying. He could say he knew better.
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When Gold Mafia aired, Zimbabweans saw familiar names. Henrietta Rushwaya had been caught at the airport in 2020 with six kilograms of gold in her handbag. She was convicted, but still scott free. The First Lady Auxillia Mnangagwa, the First Lady, has been tied to charities that critics say lack transparency. Angel himself had a history of fraud allegations. In 2015 he was accused in Britain of defrauding congregants in a property scam. He denied it. So when Al Jazeera showed him boasting about laundering, it fit a pattern. His defense that it was a sting made little sense. But it gave the state a way to avoid action.
If Angel was working for intelligence, then the story was not corruption. It was patriotism.
The trick here is scale. Trump and Angel do not deny what people saw. Trump does not deny he knew Epstein. Angel does not deny he offered deals. What they do is reframe. Trump says he knew Epstein but secretly hated him. Angel says he made deals but secretly served the nation. They keep the facts and twist the meaning. It is a simple tool. It works when audiences are loyal.
Consider the damage. Epstein’s victims were mostly young women, some as young as 14, kids by any measure. They were recruited with promises of modeling jobs. They were abused in mansions. Court records show dozens of testimonies. Their pain is real. Yet Trump’s informant story makes it all about him.
Was he a hero or not? The victims vanish.
Meanwhile in Zimbabwe, estimates say gold smuggling costs billions. The Reserve Bank estimated in 2020 that $1.5 billion was lost each year. That is money that could buy medicine, books, fuel. Instead it leaves through airports and borders. Yet Angel’s spy story makes it about him.
Was he a patriot or not? The poor vanish.
The timelines reveal how spin works. The Wall Street Journal in July 2025 reported Bondi had told Trump his name was in Epstein’s files. In February 2025 Bondi claimed she had a list. In September Johnson claimed Trump was an informant. Each step added a new version.
In Zimbabwe, March 2023 brought Al Jazeera’s Gold Mafia. April 2023 brought Madhuku’s press conference. By June Angel’s assets were frozen, then later unfrozen. Each step added a new excuse. Lies stretch to fill time.
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It is easy to laugh. Trump as FBI undercover. Angel as spy. Picture Trump sneaking into Epstein’s townhouse with a wire taped to his chest. Picture Angel dialing a decoy First Lady. The images are comic. But the comedy hides real costs. Epstein’s survivors wait for justice. Zimbabwe’s citizens wait for schools that work. The world gets theater instead.
The bigger question is why people accept these stories. In America, partisanship explains much. Trump’s Maga base believes him over the press. They chant “fake news” at CNN. They boo The Washington Post. In Zimbabwe, fear explains much. People know Angel has access to Mnangagwa. They know Madhuku is a heavyweight lawyer. To call Angel a liar is to risk attention from the state. Faith explains the rest. Angel’s followers see him as a prophet. Doubting him feels like doubting God.
There is also fatigue. Scandals pile up until people switch off. In the U.S., Trump faced two impeachments, four indictments, and countless lawsuits. By 2025, voters shrug. Another scandal feels normal. In Zimbabwe, corruption scandals are weekly. From fertilizer deals to diamond thefts, each new one fades quickly. Angel’s gold laundering is just one more. Citizens sigh and move on.
But moving on allows lies to stick. Johnson’s claim on CNN may never be proven. Yet it now lives online. Supporters will quote it. Memes will repeat it. In Zimbabwe, Madhuku’s claim of a spy operation may never be proven. Yet it too lives on. Congregants will preach it. Videos will repeat it. The lie becomes permanent.
The lesson is not just about Trump or Angel. It is about how power protects itself. When caught, leaders invent roles. They turn shame into glory. They rewrite their script. They count on fatigue, fear, and faith. And they often succeed. Americans who want to trust Trump will trust him. Zimbabweans who want to trust Angel will trust him. The victims remain victims.
So laugh at the idea of Trump the undercover FBI man. Laugh at Angel the gold spy. But then remember the women who testified against Epstein. Remember the children in Zimbabwe studying without books. Lies are not just funny. Lies have a price. And the people who pay are never the ones who tell them.
From Mar-a-Lago to Harare, the script is the same. Power bends reality. The friend of Epstein becomes an informant. The prophet of laundering becomes a patriot.
The show goes on.
And the audience keeps clapping.
Sit tight dear reader of mine. The show will be back the next season.
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