Any parent who actually cares, who has experienced the stress that comes from feeling absolute responsibility while every day feeling more and more that less and less is under your conscious control, goes through times of bleak despair.

Child-rearing is unbelieveably difficult– if people had a clue beforehand just how difficult it is, no one would volunteer to do it! It’s especially difficult early on, when babies don’t give back much, and sleep deprivation makes it hard to be alert and appreciate the joyful moments when– miraculously!– they appear.

This is true for both fathers and mothers, but mothers have it worse – because a mother is not supposed to ever–No, not ever!– be less than unconditionally loving. Never mind that she may be in no condition to be in the same room with the kids, let alone cope with them! She’s supposed to give hugs and talk babytalk and have infinite patience, all while utterly exhaused and with her hormones racing up and down and spilling out her ears.

This is, to put it plainly, insane: and more women should say so. It’s something they need right now. Plain speaking about the stress of parenthood. Honest dealing so that the hard work and positive energy that child-raising demands isn’t all on the shoulders of one lone unprepared and unsupported woman.

So: Tell each other. Tell the men in your lives. Tell the government.