I Hate Acting.

Oh, why did I even sign up for this class? I didn’t know we’d have to practice auditioning…

It’s not fair. Everybody will be looking at me, judging me. If I do one thing wrong everybody is going to notice, and laugh at me, and I’m going to be so embarrassed.

The lights will be beaming in my eyes and my hands will start shaking like crazy. My throat will get really dry and I’ll stutter like there’s no tomorrow. I’ll fidget and play with my hair.

I’m so nervous, what if I suck? What if I’m horrible? What if people start throwing things; or worse, tell everybody about my performance, and how much I sucked. I’ll be embarrassed everywhere I go. I’ll have no escape.

People are always going to remember me as the person who couldn’t perform, the person who can’t ever talk in front of a crowd. I don’t want to do this, I hate performing. If I was confident I could just stand on that stage and nail it, but I’m not. I’m terrified, in fact I’m petrified. I would use any excuse in the book to not have to perform.

I know what you guys are all thinking, just pretend to be sick. Well, unfortunately I’ve tried that already and they didn’t buy it. Use a doctor note, well I tried that one too, and as it turns out I’m not very good at forging signatures. They didn’t even buy the dead pet excuse. You know what; actually maybe I can do this.

I’ve practiced for hours. I know all my words. All I’ve got to do is go up there and perform it the way I know I can, the way I’ve rehearsed it dozens of times in the mirror, and if I do that I’ll be fine. In fact, I’d be better than fine, I’ll be amazing. I just have to stay calm and relaxed. And the point is just to have fun, right? I don’t have to be the best, I just need to do the best I can. Alright, I can do this. I’m ready. Hey, I’m… I… I… I can’t do this.