Let me be real with you. Big Pharma isn’t a cabal of vampires gathering at midnight to discuss how to keep the world sick. There is no Illuminati-like council of CEOs clinking glasses while plotting a flu outbreak in Botswana.

You know why?

Because people—especially powerful people—are too selfish to collaborate for that long without turning on each other.

The real conspiracy isn’t secret meetings or hidden cures. It’s capitalism. Plain, bloated, bureaucratic capitalism.

It’s not a thriller. It’s a spreadsheet. And that’s the problem.

People want evil to be theatrical—lightning, cloaks, evil laughter. But in real life, evil is dull. It’s in quarterly reports and lobbyist handshakes and contracts signed over stale coffee.

If anything, Big Pharma’s problem isn’t that it’s hiding the cure. It’s that it prices it. That it prioritizes profit over people. Not because they’re lizard people—but because the system rewards greed. That’s the real sickness.

And before you come at me with “they’re poisoning us”—bro, have you met humanity? We can’t even organize a family WhatsApp group, but you think we’ve orchestrated global disease for decades without a single credible leak? You think thousands of doctors, researchers, scientists—all of them—are in on it? That none of them, not even one disillusioned intern, has blown the whistle?

Nah. People aren’t built like that. We’re messy. We leak. We overshare on TikTok. We gossip. The truth would’ve slipped out between a drunk tweet and a hacked iCloud by now.

What’s more likely? That there’s a massive, perfectly-coordinated global lie? Or that we’re dealing with a system where profit incentives screw up priorities, innovation is real but unevenly distributed, and poor people die while billionaires invest in anti-aging creams?

We don’t need conspiracies to explain suffering. Reality is cruel enough. And until we address the obvious greed in plain sight, all these theories are just bedtime stories for people afraid to look truth in its ugly, unglamorous face.