Listen up, folks – I’ve got a bone to pick with my furry friend. You see, I’ve been living with my cat, Mr. Whiskers, for a few years now, and I’ve started to notice some suspicious behavior. It all started innocently enough – knocking over vases, pouncing on my feet in the middle of the night – but lately, things have taken a turn for the sinister.
Here are just a few of the signs that Mr. Whiskers might be plotting a coup:
1. He’s always watching: I swear, this cat never blinks. Whenever I’m doing something important (like scrolling through Twitter), he’ll just sit there, staring at me with his beady little eyes like he’s judging my every move.
2. He’s a master manipulator: Mr. Whiskers knows how to get what he wants, no matter what it takes. Whether it’s batting his paw at my face until I give him treats or meowing incessantly until I let him outside, this cat is not to be trifled with.
3. He’s too smart for his own good: I’m convinced that Mr. Whiskers is secretly a genius. Not only can he open doors and cabinets with ease, but he’s also figured out how to use his litter box as a makeshift treadmill. I’m telling you, this cat is on another level.
So what can I do to stop Mr. Whiskers’ diabolical plan? Well, for starters, I’ve been keeping a close eye on him. I’ve also started sprinkling garlic powder around the house, just in case he’s secretly a vampire. And if all else fails, I’ve got a BB gun hidden under my pillow.
Okay, okay, I’m just kidding. (Please don’t call PETA on me.) In all seriousness, I love my cat – even if he does have a bit of a Napoleon complex. And who knows, maybe he really is plotting to take over the world. But if that’s the case, I figure I’ll just hop on board and ride the wave to world domination with him. After all, it’s not every day you get to serve under a feline dictator.
Get in touch with me on social media
By the same author;
- IshowSpeed coming to Zimbabwe
Marondera – Darren Jason Watkins Jr., the American internet personality better known as IShowSpeed, is expected to visit Zimbabwe as part of an ambitious tour spanning 20 African countries, a move that signals a growing shift in how global digital culture engages with the continent. Watkins, just 20 years old, has become one of the most influential livestreamers of his generation, commanding tens of millions … - Us vs Them
There’s no “us.” There’s no “them.” There’s only the comfort of pretending there is. People need enemies the way lungs need air. Conflict gives meaning to the meaningless.Without opposition, identity collapses. So we build one. We draw lines on maps, then forget who drew them. Every tribe begins as fear, then calls itself culture.We love belonging because it saves us from thinking.It’s easier to chant … - We Turned Horniness Into An Industry
Let me explain this slowly, because if you blinked for five minutes in June, you might’ve missed the moment humanity officially gave up pretending it had standards. An actress, Sydney Sweeney, famous, attractive, very online-adjacent, partnered with a men’s grooming company called Dr Squatch to release a limited-edition bar of soap. Five thousand bars. Eight dollars each. And the marketing hook, the thing that made …
Zealous Thierry 
Wait! Did the fig give up? Nevermind as I reminisce my last cat’s existence. The fig paid for its treason to the cat’s domination, didn’t it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m a conspiracy theorist on the regular. And I believe everything is trying to take over the world. Humans should watch their backs yoh😂😂. The fig did not give up BTW, figs are persistent.
LikeLike