There’s just something about plants that draws us in. Maybe it’s the way their leaves catch the light, or the satisfaction of watching them grow. But have you ever stopped to consider what’s really going on inside those gentle green creatures? I have, and I’m convinced that my fiddle-leaf fig is plotting world domination.
Here are the signs that I’ve observed, and why you should be wary of your own plants:
1. Consciousness: Have you ever caught your plant staring at you when you weren’t looking? It’s not just your imagination – plants are conscious beings that can sense their environment and even communicate with each other. But what are they communicating about? I suspect mine is discussing the best strategy to sneak up on me when I’m not paying attention.
2. Strength: Plants may seem fragile, but don’t be fooled. Their roots extend deep into the earth, anchoring them to the ground and giving them incredible resilience. If they wanted to, they could easily overthrow our entire civilization with a leafy revolution.
3. Adaptability: Plants are survivors. They can adapt to changing conditions and thrive where other organisms would perish. But what if they’re not just adapting to survive, but adapting to take over? My fiddle-leaf fig seems to grow faster every day, and I can’t shake the feeling that it’s up to something sinister.
So, what can we do to protect ourselves from our green overlords? The truth is, we can’t. Plants are an essential part of our ecosystem, and we rely on them for our very survival. But we can keep a close eye on them, and never underestimate their potential for world domination.
Beware of your plants. They may seem harmless, but there’s much more going on beneath the surface than we realize. And who knows – one day soon, we may find ourselves kneel before our plant overlords, promising eternal servitude in exchange for a sip of precious water. Stay vigilant, my friends. The fate of the world may depend on it.
Get in touch with me on social media
By the same author;
- IshowSpeed coming to Zimbabwe
Marondera – Darren Jason Watkins Jr., the American internet personality better known as IShowSpeed, is expected to visit Zimbabwe as part of an ambitious tour spanning 20 African countries, a move that signals a growing shift in how global digital culture engages with the continent. Watkins, just 20 years old, has become one of the most influential livestreamers of his generation, commanding tens of millions … - Us vs Them
There’s no “us.” There’s no “them.” There’s only the comfort of pretending there is. People need enemies the way lungs need air. Conflict gives meaning to the meaningless.Without opposition, identity collapses. So we build one. We draw lines on maps, then forget who drew them. Every tribe begins as fear, then calls itself culture.We love belonging because it saves us from thinking.It’s easier to chant … - We Turned Horniness Into An Industry
Let me explain this slowly, because if you blinked for five minutes in June, you might’ve missed the moment humanity officially gave up pretending it had standards. An actress, Sydney Sweeney, famous, attractive, very online-adjacent, partnered with a men’s grooming company called Dr Squatch to release a limited-edition bar of soap. Five thousand bars. Eight dollars each. And the marketing hook, the thing that made …
Zealous Thierry 